Beach Thoughts

It is Spring Break...a time to head South and enjoy the sunshine and the ocean.  And we have, but today, a storm has settled into the Gulf.  I have been sitting on the back patio enjoying the sounds of the rain and it has made my thoughts go many places.  Laik is inside napping as I sit on a comfy outdoor loveseat with my feet propped up listening to the heavens rain down.  The rain is beating down on the tin roof of the house, the sky cracks and booms.  But still, ever so gently, I can hear the peacefulness of the fountain in the middle of the lake.  It calms me. This storm reminds me of my ever changing emotions.  

 

 There are days when it is easy, like a beautiful, sunny day having an ice cream in the park and hanging out with friends.  We do what everyone else does and life goes on.  Now, granted, it might take me a bit longer to do things (not sure if that is just me, mother of a 21 month old or if it because Laik isn't the typical 21 month old.)  But I do things with Laik just like other mothers do with their sons.  Or do I?  No, it is different.  People that are not around us a lot, most likely, do not get it.  I know that when I answer the question, "how old is he?"  People probably wonder why isn't that child walking? Holding his own bottle?  Drinking from a cup or straw? Feeding himself?  Talking?  and so on.  Oh well, it's my life.  It may not appear to be a sunny day, but it is.  I'm just doing what we do.

Then, there are rainy days.  The ones that just depress you.  Those days are often dreary and cold or hot and humid.  They make your hair look awful and your mood go sour.  The day is just ugly.  Everything is wet, beaten down, and lazy. It seems like it is never going to stop and it just sucks.  Like the fact that Laik isn't walking yet and I still have to carry him or stroll him everywhere.  Or being in the car and knowing he wants a drink or a snack and I just can't reach back and hand him one.  And not knowing when or if any of those developmental milestones will come?!? You get the picture, easy life is made a tad more difficult when it rains.

 So, I wait, I watch, I listen and I pray.  I have hope that in the moments of still, I can be full of joy.  I remind myself that all storms eventually pass. People confront storms in two ways:  they either go straight into it or they run!  I have survived many storms before this one and I have faith that I will survive the ones I face in the future. Laik, is my sunshine.  Trisomy 12p is my rain, but it isn't always a storm. It is sometimes a gentle splash in my face to keep me full of hope for a very bright future. Remember, the sun always shines the most beautifully and brightly following the storm!

 And shine on me, it does!  The beach is just a walk away, the lake, with its calming fountain, is just a few footsteps away, and my whole world of sunshine and rain is right in front of me.  If only, I could make my thoughts be as simple and happy as his....

Happy Spring Break from the Sunshine State!